The Midnight Library

Introduction

The Midnight Library in short is about someone who wants to take their own life and ultimately does. The book begins with a day or so prior and each chapter begins with "12 hours before" and describes some things that basically lead to Nora wanting to unalive herself. After doing so she ends up in this purgatory-like location that is The Midnight Library. Once here, she sees an older teacher who runs the library. All the books are various timelines/lives of Nora's that are from various decisions she could have made (i.e. butterfly effect)

Some books are about if she kept swimming, if they continued the band, if she was still with her ex husband, if she had actually going out with that guy who runs in her neighborhood. Each story essentially had the same formula. Nora would show up, be super confused until she figured things out and then she would immediately start whining again and then be yeeted from the timeline back to the library. Each story was more boring and predictable than the last. 

My thoughts

I don't even know how to full describe the vibe of the book. It was... weird. It felt like part shitty TED talk that's trying to be inspiring, but is actually just incredibly condescending and misunderstanding what depression actually is and part MLM that's trying to sell supplements and affirmations instead of taking actual pharmaceuticals. 

It did feel like the main chunk of people in her “rooted” life sucked and it was explained as though it was all Nora’s fault and it was all because of her depression, but it seemed as though all these people had other shit going on in their lives too. She wasn’t completely at fault for not always talking to these people.

Most of her travels to the other timelines/universes/whatever you want to call them was her being picky. She would compare to her normal life; never truly “living” in the other life. She would not be in another timeline for long before she went “MEH” and moved on. Sometimes this made sense - like when she was back with her ex husband and she found out he was cheating. She could have easily made a life in the one with the vineyard or even the last one with the guy who runs through the neighborhood. She lasted in that one for a bit before she had a meltdown and kept thinking about the rooted life so hard she was yeeted back to the library. 

The anti-medication was HEAVY. Every time taking medication was mentioned it was not talked about in a good way. To the point that if Nora saw that she was on medications in other timelines it would make her leave that timeline. It feels as though every time medication is mentioned its shit on for even being an option. It was incredibly preachy about “think happy thoughts and you’ll be okay.” I did not like how naïve and very fake tv show it felt when talking about depression and suicidal thoughts. 

As someone with depression and a whole host of other mental illnesses and disabilities I get it, but why is this 35 year old person written like a whiny teenager? It felt so juvenile. The whole thing felt as though the author doesn’t believe depression truly exists and is just something that happens when you're big sad over having regrets or choices you might not have been happy with how they turned out. Instead of it being a real thing that stems from genetics, trauma, or even a chemical imbalance in the brain.  She's taking medications, but they’re clearly not working. SWITCH THEM UP! Not every medication works for one person. TALK TO A THERAPIST clearly you got some TRAUMA to work through. 

The part about her cat pissed me off. First of all the cat dying before you’re even 10% into the book is wild. THEN one of the timelines being where he would have died anyway because he had an unknown underlying heart condition. As someone in veterinary medicine: TAKE YOUR DAMN CATS TO THE VET! The overall vibe was “it would have died anyway, but you gave him a good few years.” The condition they’re claiming the cat had? Yeah they’re lucky to live past a couple years old WITH knowing about the condition and support +/- medications and interventions. You’re telling me the cat with zero vet care and zero knowledge of the horrible condition made it that long without being symptomatic? That also would not have been a peaceful death. The overall vibe that “cats know they’re about to die so they run off to die peacefully” is a horseshit old wives tale. 

There were multiple pages of just LISTING all her regrets, her lives, her whatevers was certainly a choice. It felt lazy. Half a paragraph of lists in, I skipped to the next section. Are we trying to fulfill an essay’s word count? 

The ending was so…….. I’m not even sure how to describe it. 

Conclusion

Things don’t just magically fix themselves when you decide to keep living. Just because you are suddenly grateful for your life does not mean that you are cured. If it were truly that easy I would’ve been cured YEARS ago. Medication and therapy are not bad options. They should not be treated like they are. Some people have to have medications and that's OKAY. There is no one trick magical cure. You have to work towards that shit. You have to work to better your relationship with those around you. It felt like there was an anti medication anti therapy agenda being pushed by the author. Like just think happy thoughts, write a lil poem and everything will be cured. Do. Better. Mental health is always treated poorly and having things like this be popular gives it an even worse view